Tag Archive | over

Buy the Gift Your Woman Wants, seriously.

Honestly, it is the gift that counts. I know that sounds harsh, but that’s how it is.

If you ask me what I want, and I give you an item in a box, I expect you to get me that exact item in that’s in that exact box. At the very least, I expect that exact item.

If you cannot get that exactly, then buy me something else completely, or ask me where to find what I want or what else you can give me that I want.

I know this is hard to grasp, gentlemen, but pay attention here. Perfume 101 — when you buy a lady perfume, if you do not buy the exact bottle shape, size, style she always uses, it is not that perfume.

It’s probably a knock off or  a “new” version of the old perfume that she really likes (hence the manufacturer put it in a new bottle), which means you’ll have to look a little harder and spend a little more for what she wants, but she’s worth it right?

Perfume makers tend to update their scents and reinvent them slightly to go with current trends in perfume. They do this every dozen years or so.

A perfume that was born in 1922, might be remade in 1977, and again in 1980, and again in 1995 and again in 1999.  Each time, it will be slightly or radically different.

Your lady might find the 1980 and the 1995 not that different, but the 1999 version might suddenly be so different it smells to her like something the whores on Canal Street would wear.

So, take this message to heart!

If she’s handing you a visual aid and saying: Bring me this. You better be damn sure you get her that because if you get her a different “version” of perfume, she’ll feel insulted. Like you didn’t care enough — even after she told you what she wanted and gave you a visual aid — to get her the right thing.

Really.  And that’s your relationship in the toilet because you will not be sniffing, kissing or otherwise caressing any body part she sprayed with her current perfume, trust me.

And yes, I think the “new” 1999 updated version shown below smells so bad I scrubbed it off my arm and threw out the bottle and the person that had the gall to give it to me! — and it’s a really ugly stupid bottle too! Relationship status: OVER.