Tag Archive | Fling

All Good Flings Come to an End


Yes, it’s true. Fling has been flung. I try to confine a fling to 6 months max, so no one feels I ruined their life by leading them on for years — Mr Grove!!!

But, I admit, I really liked Fling and, because we’d spent so much time apart, I was of a mind to wait till we’d spent 6 months together — as in, in the same place together — before I ended it (if either of us was of a mind to end it).

So, what happened? Fling came back a changed man — as a result of his recent health scare. He felt he had “clarity” about his life.  . . . uh, ok . . . . He wanted to get more serious . . . uh, not ok.

I’ve seen this scenario before. A person faces a life-or-death crisis and come out different — sometimes forever different, sometimes for a couple years different, sometimes for a few weeks different.

I don’t know if this Fling is forever changed or just temporarily changed. I know he thinks he has clarity. Maybe he does. But I don’t. I’m thoroughly confused.

This new Fling is not the Fling I remember. He’s more serious now, more level-headed. It’s not balanced by the old Fling’s verve and spontaneity.

Maybe we’ll meet in the future. Maybe he’ll be the man I remembered again.

But I worry that in the interval, he’ll do something ruinous to his own life and others. What if this “new” Fling wakes up 5 years from now and discovers he’s made a whole life based on the man he’s not?

I should hate for that to happen to him. But, I’m not going to allow myself to become a decision he comes to regret. And so,  for both our sakes, Good Me has to end it .


Ah, Love . . . . <sigh>.

Under the cherry blossoms

After an early morning coffee at Zoka’s in Greenlake, and a brisk walk around said lake, I’m off to the University of Washington to see the 30 or so 70-year-old Yoshino cherry trees in blossom on the UW Quad.

If you’ve never been out under an orchard of ancient cherry trees in full blossom, it’s an amazing experience. The video above is from last year, but if you want to see some spectacular shots from this year, check out JeiShi’s post for the total “you are there” feeling.

Of course UW’s beautiful architecture out on the quad only heightens the experience! I plan to peek in on the library as well too. It’s what writers do. Poke around in musty stacks, drawing inspiration. But the Library itself is inspiration enough for me. Just sitting there, breathing in the grandeur.

After this time of esoteric reflection, I’m off to Luly Yang‘s to do something more down to earth, ie, pick up a little something for Fling to unwrap when he gets back . . .


Fling at the Fairmont?


Fling texted me the other night to say he was giving up Paleo dieting. I though it was weird but since I was sitting there eating a cake I’d just baked, I didn’t ask questions. I should have.

The next day, I got an Instagram — of him lying in a hospital bed. He didn’t look as though he’d been in a bar fight, so I was worried. I called but I couldn’t get a hold of him. Eventually a Colleague of his called me, on Fling’s behalf. Fling had spent the weekend in hospital.

Too many long-haul flights had led Fling to deep vein thrombosis a while back, which he’d never told me before. He thought he was ok. But he woke up on Friday unable to breathe. He thought he had contracted pneumonia so Colleague drove him to the local ER.

Turned out Fling’s clot hadn’t vanished, it had just moved to his lung. And, if he’d waited a couple more days to go to the ER, he’d probably have died.

Fling’s out now, at Colleague’s house, recooperating for a couple days.

He sent me an email this morning saying he’s not sure if he’ll be flying back at the end of the month. He may  have to spend the next 6 weeks where he is, taking blood thinners, before he gets a doctor’s ok to fly.

Of course, me being me I immediately thought of our upcoming trip to the Emerald City (that would be Seattle not Oz). We are  supposed to be going to see the Treasures of Kenwood House exhibition at the SAM, along with many other Seattle favs.

If I wait for Fling,  the exhibition might be gone to its next stop — in Little Rock. I’m sure Arkansas is very nice, but . . . .

I certainly hope I can have Fling at the Fairmont, but if not, I’ll just take someone else who doesn’t mind a good lie in on sateen weave, 500 count, 100% Egyptian cotton sheets!


A Tolkien of My Affection


I like to play this game (which I invented) with friends and lovers. It’s called Tolkien of My Affection. To play you’ve had to have read Tolkien (not just watched the movies), so you’re up on all the characters. But beyond that, it’s pretty simple. Recently I played this with Fling while at a cafe.

It consists of two questions.

  1. Which character is (the person your playing with)?
  2. Which character are you?

After you type your answers, you simultaneously text each other those answers. Then you explain why you chose each character.

My answers were Narsil and Isildur.

  • Fling is very much the man who cut the ring from Sauron’s hand and paid for it. (Though I like to think he’s currently being reforged).
  • I, alas, am very much the person who can do great things, but never the one small most important of all things.

Fling’s answers were Bill the Pony and Samwise Gamgee.

  • Fling said I’m brave, but I’ve been with bad men. Yet I’m wiser now and in good company with someone who cares and would not drag anyone into needless danger.
  • He sees himself as dependable, down to earth, closest of companions, and occasional protector. A through thick and thin, to hell and back sort of guy.

I have to say Fling’s answers were a bit worrisome. Sam turned Bill loose at the Gates of Moria. True, they were reunited, but . . . . Are the Gates of Moria on our horizon?

Tolkien of My Affection is a dangerous game. On the surface of it, the object is simply to understand the other person and yourself a little better. However, very often you find out a lot about yourself, and the other person, and what sort of relationship you think you have with them and they think they have with you.

You know, like, why did both Fling and I see ourselves as humanish creatures (semi-elvish royalty; rude hobbit) but each other as non-humanish creatures (magical sword; intelligent pony).  Why did each of us see the other as something subject to our power: Isildur owns and uses Narsil, Sam owns and uses Bill. What does this say about us as individuals? About our relationship?

This game is a bit like the Ring itself. Once you pick it up, you can’t stop playing with it. So if you haven’t picked it up, For Galadriel’s sake don’t. It will drive you mad.