Walking through the park, early Saturday morning, as the softball teams were warming up on a cold grey day, I heard a voice. It sounded like Jeremy Piven (but I’m sure it wasn’t). It was loud, NYC-accented, and coming from 30 feet away by the refreshment stand.
Coffee with milk and sugar, stirred three times.
I admit to a giggle. It’s a dollar coffee from a shack in a local park, not Starbuck’s. Stir it 3 times? Is 4 too many? Is 2 not enough? Can’t you even say the word please?
Poor man. He was perhaps trying to be cool, in that James Bond “Vodka martini, shaken not stirred” way. But at a 7:30 am Saturday softball game? And girls softball at that. And the girls are only 10! It’s simply laughable.
I’m not sure why James Bond ordering a drink made in a specific way makes him abnormally interesting while Ballpark Guy ordering a coffee in a specific way makes him simply abnormal. They both know what they want and have no qualms about asking for it.
Fundamentally, I suppose it’s a lack of proportion. An upmarket guest making an odd request at an upscale casino is different from a city guy making an odd request at a suburban park snack shack.
Still it was nice to walk away and have breakfast with Regular Joe at a regular eatery. One where asking for whipped cream on waffles is normal.Of course, asking for the whipped cream can to be brought to the table and left? A little less so. And covering the entirety of one’s waffles with whipped cream? Abnormal. Still, when his whipped cream goes flat and Joe resprays all his remaining waffleage? Okay, I admit it, that makes him abnormally interesting.